In honour of MOvember, lets take a look at our top 5 “favourite” mustache looks:
This classic moustache is wide, it is thick, and it is manly. This is your no-frills, that-better-be-beer-or-whiskey-you’re-drinking macho moustache. It is kept neat, and trim, and comes with either a tuxedo or Hawaiian shirt, like Magnum himself.
This one you can thank the Hipsters for bringing back into fashion. On a well-balanced face, this moustache can look quite dashing, but it can also easily overwhelm. It is a bit fussier in the grooming department (comb, some sort of styling aid, mirror), but that just makes it more festive.
This one is not for the wallflowers among us. Bold, brazen, and anti-pretty boy, this is the moustache of professional wrestlers and Motorhead. Grooming is mainly to keep its shape – this moustache can easily become a beard if left to its own devices. To keep it within its horseshoe-shaped boundaries is to tame its wildness; let it loose at your own peril.
This is the kind of moustache that requires both patience and understanding – this moustache will not be making an unexpected appearance. You will need the entirety of MOvember, and perhaps a bottle of Rogaine, to make this beauty grow. It’s thick, it’s bushy, and it refuses to play by your upper lip’s rules. But it has the distinction of being the most beastly of the moustaches, what with its walrus-like appearance.
I call this one a stick on only because it always looks vaguely like a fake, felt moustache to me. But don’t mistake me – this is by no means a cheat. This moustache is full and proud. It has graced the lips of the likes of Ron Burgundy, and it bows to no man. Wider and thinner than a Selleck, it stretches past the boundaries of the smile, to settle in the laugh lines. If you were to have laugh lines. Which you won’t. Because this is a serious moustache. With many leather-bound books and an apartment that smells of rich mahogany.
But it’s MOvember, gentlemen, so really, any ‘stache will do. So get growing! And don’t forget to visit the MOVEMBER webpage and make a donation!