After the last few posts, you probably think that people are willing to try anything in order to get their beauty on. From live snails to bird poop to just simply hitting people in the face, every spa owner and their dog has a different thing to slap on your face to make you beautiful.

1) Gold Flakes

The Cleise Brazillian Day Spa in Chicago offers a Touch of Gold Treatment. As you may have guessed, they rub flakes of the most expensive metal on your face. How could gold NOT make you beautiful? Apparently, gold is rich with therapeutic benefits – it stimulates collagen production and tightens and tones the face.

You will also have gold on your face, so that’s pretty hot too.

For $250, you get 90 minutes of rubbing gold all over your face, which is probably the most first-world way of spending $250 ever. After the 90 minutes, you eat the gold. then even your poop looks great.

2) Egg Face

If you think you can just put any old chicken egg on your face, you can. Except it might not have the same miraculous beautifying effects as fish eggs. At Channing’s Day Spa in Chicago, you can get a caviar facial that apparently rivals Botox in its beauty benefits. Apparently, anything that is really expensive will make you more beautiful if you rub it on your face.

The caviar is imported from Switzerland, It’s frozen, then thawed in room temperature for maximum deliciousness, er we mean beauty. It is then smeared on the face, and absorbed into the skin by way of electric current. Thats right, then don’t just put eggs on your face, the put eggs on your face then electrocute you.

The caviar is rich in amino acids, vitamins and antioxidants, moisturizes the skin, helps repair sun damage and softens the appearance of wrinkles This all comes to you at the reasonable price of $185 for 60 minutes.

Does not include crackers.

If you really want to amp up your beauty game, you can do every single strange beauty treatment we have talked about on this site. If you do this, you will have a face full of fish eggs, bird poop, snail goop, gold, blood, and then a small Korean lady will repeatedly slap you. At the end of this, you will look like a MAXIM model, and by MAXIM model we mean your regular self.