Laziness Grooming Tips: Eyebrow Plucking


Why do we even have eyebrows? To indicate skepticism by raising only one of them? To prevent debris from falling into the eye socket? No one knows for sure, but we do know that eyebrows, like any other natural part of a human body, must be modified or controlled. That said, there are lazy (and therefore better) ways to keep your Eugene Levys from annexing your brow than simply doing a good job and having good, preventative personal hygiene: Here are a few tips for controlling your eyebrows the lazy way:

  1. Shave off your eyebrows and draw them on each morning. This will allow you to customize the brow to suit your needs. Maybe you want to do it the same way as everyone else and use eye-liner. Maybe today you feel like Burt from Sesame Street and you want to use a Sharpie. Listen to your heart.
  2. Have eyebrows tattooed on your face. Then have your eyebrow hair permanently removed by laser. In fact, just have your whole face removed and tattooed on.
  3. Get accustomed to having no eyebrows and just shave them off all the time, but don’t cover them up or replace them. Sure, when you first see it you’ll think you look like an extra in a Marilyn Manson video, but people can get used to anything. Shave your head too and eliminate another component of your daily routine.
  4. Simply allow your brows to take over. Claim you’re trying for a French/bohemian/Frida Kahlo look. It’ll work.
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